Oslo

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The  main thought that comes to mind when I think of Oslo is “night for day.” In movie making “day for night” is a technique to use blue filters in daylight to mimic night on film. Saves money by not having to set up expensive lighting. Oslo currently is enjoying six hours of sunlight each day, so to the uninitiated everybody is walking around in the dark most of the time. Doesn’t seem to bother the locals, of course. But for the jet-lagged two of us, it always seemed like either bedtime or dinner time.

Here’s a suggestion for any entrepreneurs out there: bedtime theater. Instead of dinner theater, customers are dressed in PJs and are served in bed. Given we are in Norway, maybe Ibsen or Strindberg. Though “I love Lucy” in Swedish might prove more entertaining.

Speaking of the arts, the new Oslo opera is quite a statement. From the outside, the entire white marble complex looks like a giant ice flow. The wooden interior warms the place up. Unique among opera houses,and maybe buildings In general, is that you are encouraged to walk on the roof. You begin at street level and np just walk up the eastern roofline. Can be slippery footing in icy weather–i.e. Most of the year–and if one isn’t careful it could be a long and painful slide into Oslo bay. On one hand you do get a great view of Oslo. On the other, there is not that much to see.

The weather was just above freezing and raw with with occasional sprinkles. Since we were still staggering around from the SAS flight to Europe most of our time was spent at the opera and in the immense and confusing Purgatory called the Central Station. This transportation hub got us to and from our airport hotel and midtown, and resembled most the Port Authority in New York City.

Oslo is one of the world’s most expensive cities. If one is not careful, you could spend $300 for a dinner that might cost $100 in the States. Even fast food, like a hamburger, can cost $30.

The Holiday Train

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We expected the sights to be seen would begin in Europe. That was until we caught the holiday train on our way from the airport to Topolobampo in Chicago for dinner. Unlike Santa Claus, this cross between a Christmas parade and transportation visits the city’s subway riders whether they are naughty or nice. Transit employees dressed like elves hand out candy canes. And, at the center of the train a flat car holds a live Santa and not so live reindeer.

Christmas lights decorate the outside of the train, and green and red neon illuminates the seating area. This does add a touch of macabre to the lurid murder headlines of the newspapers riders are reading.  All the seats are upholstered in wrapping-paper-like fabric. What a trip!

I am writing this as the SAS 777 bound from Chicago to Stockholm is #6 waiting to take off. The pilot made this announcement in Swedish, which I understood perfectly though I don’t speak a word of the language beyond “smorgasbord.” This is because, as I have suspected since the Muppets’ Swedish Chef, Scandanavian languages are not real. They all actually are speaking English and are just screwIng  with us.

Given fellow sailor Admiral Bergan’s lineage, I’ll allow an exception for some Norweigans. But Marcia just read me from Travel and Leisure that there are more people of Norweigan descent in the USA than in Norway. So, face it, they DO speak English even to one and other.

Update: SAS Stockholm to Oslo. I think we are the only Americans aboard. Everyone else is reading and speaking English into their electronic gear. But those sitting near us clearly are pretending to chat in Swedish or Norwegian to keep up pretenses. After all, if oil-rich Norway spoke English only, it would be Texas with herring.