We expected the sights to be seen would begin in Europe. That was until we caught the holiday train on our way from the airport to Topolobampo in Chicago for dinner. Unlike Santa Claus, this cross between a Christmas parade and transportation visits the city’s subway riders whether they are naughty or nice. Transit employees dressed like elves hand out candy canes. And, at the center of the train a flat car holds a live Santa and not so live reindeer.

Christmas lights decorate the outside of the train, and green and red neon illuminates the seating area. This does add a touch of macabre to the lurid murder headlines of the newspapers riders are reading.  All the seats are upholstered in wrapping-paper-like fabric. What a trip!

I am writing this as the SAS 777 bound from Chicago to Stockholm is #6 waiting to take off. The pilot made this announcement in Swedish, which I understood perfectly though I don’t speak a word of the language beyond “smorgasbord.” This is because, as I have suspected since the Muppets’ Swedish Chef, Scandanavian languages are not real. They all actually are speaking English and are just screwIng  with us.

Given fellow sailor Admiral Bergan’s lineage, I’ll allow an exception for some Norweigans. But Marcia just read me from Travel and Leisure that there are more people of Norweigan descent in the USA than in Norway. So, face it, they DO speak English even to one and other.

Update: SAS Stockholm to Oslo. I think we are the only Americans aboard. Everyone else is reading and speaking English into their electronic gear. But those sitting near us clearly are pretending to chat in Swedish or Norwegian to keep up pretenses. After all, if oil-rich Norway spoke English only, it would be Texas with herring.